Unbelievable fan theories of your favourite TV shows and movies

Unbelievable fan theories of your favourite TV shows and movies

Down in the sweaty armpit of the internet live a particular group of recluses and ne’er-do-wells that grow on ropes like mussels, who have nothing better to do their two-week existences than scream fan theories for their favourite TV shows and movies. They do this in the dark as they developed over generations without eyes or noses, and simply screech their theories to the stagnant air of the small room. As if in a sleepwalking trance, I visited this room not a week ago and noted down as much of the mad wisdom as I could. My ears bled and bled, but it was worth it. I left the room knowing more than I did.

 

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Suffice to say, I will never return to that wretched room for as long as I choose to live. I have gone half mad, and will never be able to watch my favourite TV shows and movies the same way again.

Does an OK David Bowie impression.

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