My Descent into Derby’s ‘Yik Yak Game’

My Descent into Derby’s ‘Yik Yak Game’

I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the social media craze that is known as Yik Yak, so I’ll do my best to describe it to you; Imagine that every time you log into Yik Yak, you are basically walking into a cubicle in a public toilet that has been doused heavily in graffiti by the local student populace. The only problem being that the graffiti isn’t the arty kind, at least not in Derby.

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Having only downloaded the app yesterday, I suppose I am a little late to the craze to be criticizing the ‘hottest messaging app in the world’ as The Guardian has dubbed it, but it’s not really a messaging app is it? Either way, here are ten things I noticed the first time I milked the proverbial Yak.

1.) Rape jokes aren’t just accepted, they’re up-voted.

There can’t be a much worse introduction to an app than someone making an anonymous rape joke, and being up-voted for it. I don’t know what this says about student culture, or maybe just Derby in general, but as long as its #bants it’s OK right?

2.) Oh no I’m late!

  Is there any point in logging into Yik Yak during a week day? As much as I appreciate a good lie-in, my feed was still inundated with students proclaiming that they had failed to get out of bed up until about five in the afternoon. I’ve been at university for three years, and there isn’t a phrase I’ve heard more than ‘oops I overslept.’

3.) Those Memes are pretty dank bro.

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I can’t turn left on Facebook without being harassed by a spliff wielding Philosoraptor or a picture of a minion with a Hitler quote overlaying it. Why do we need to bring that to a brand new format, why… fucking why!?

4.) Food, Cuddles, Netflix and Moaning.

Now I don’t have anything against these four things, in fact Netflix has just released Marvel’s Jessica Jones, and that’s a pretty good show, but it seems that people are trying to use Yik Yak for casual hookups. I appreciate that being anonymous is a good way to put your preferences out there without your overzealous parents or flatmates finding out, but it also defeats the point of finding someone. You are all anonymous, at some point you are going to have to put your email or phone number on there and then all of the Derby Yik Yakkers will be coming over for a quarter of a kitkat and some loving.

5.) The Bubble Inn near Derby does some really nice food.

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If I had Instagram I’d have taken a photo of the really nice steak I had there. Oh right… we’re talking about Yik Yak, sorry.

6.) Yes! We have another platform in which to be horrible to people with no repercussions.

Yes, I’ve already seen many Yaks reminiscent of the shitfest that was Ask.Fm. Give the populace a way to be mean to people and they will be, you should all be ashamed.

7.) Flirting with anonymous people over Yik Yak is a great way to get put onto a watch-list.

You don’t know how old they are, so think before you Yak. Besides, the Univesity girl who said she is watching herself dry naked in the mirror is probably 76 year old Bernard from across the street, and with all those creases, Bernard never dries.

8.) It’s the new AA.

Don’t bother leaving the house and meeting with people to talk about your addiction to the Devil’s juice. Now you can sit in true anonymity and Yak to people who truly don’t care.

9.) Telling people to be quiet in the library/flat next door/public transport via Yik Yak is never going to work.

If you really are offended by their noise, grow a backbone and tell them. Then prepare for them to care almost as much as if they hadn’t read your Yak in the first place.

1o.) It’s pretty addictive though isn’t it?

Even if you just want to moan about something (like me) then Yik Yak is a source of endless entertainment, go now, download the app and revel in the disgusting soup that is the Yik Yak community in your area.

 

As close to handsome as we get.

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